“The Great Gatsby” Movie Review – Zombie Style

Loved it! The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite (non-zombie) books, and I was so excited when I heard it was being remade. It got quite a few bad reviews, and some movie critics complained that it was nothing but a two-hour music video. I strongly disagree. The Great Gatsby was masterfully redone, and I really enjoyed the over-the-top party scenes. The script stuck to the original story, except for putting Nick Carraway in a Sanitorium to tell Gatsby’s tale, which was a nice touch. Even if you haven’t read the book, you’ll enjoy seeing The Great Gatsby. I recommend seeing it on the big screen (3D probably isn’t necessary though – I still haven’t been sold on the 3D scam yet).

I’m hoping that when the copyright on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s greatest novel expires, someone will write “The Great Gatsby and Zombies.” I would love to read that story. However, until then, I’ll have to settle for adding zombies into the storyline in my head, which is always fun. If The Great Gatsby was a zombie movie, this is how it should have turned out:

Turn: I think Jordan Baker (played by Elizabeth Debicki) should have turned into a zombie. She didn’t have a huge role in the movie, but I’m pretty sure she would have been a badass zombie. She didn’t seem to care what anyone thought of her, so she could have torn apart her fellow New Yorkers without feeling any remorse. And everyone knows that golfers make great zombies. They’re accustomed to aimlessly shuffling around grassy areas all the live-long day.

Get Eaten: I think Tom Buchanan (played by Joel Edgerton) should have been eaten by zombies. Not just one zombie, mind you, but a whole horde of zombies. I would have liked to see them tear Tom limb from limb after one of his “sprees.” Honestly, who would cheat on Daisy? She’s an angel!

Kill: I would have loved to see Jay Gatsby (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) kill a zombie. I always root for the most eccentric characters in movies, and I felt sorry for Gatsby because he got screwed over, so it would have been really nice to see him do something awesome (other than host opulent parties). He could have bashed in a zombie’s brains quite easily with that walking stick he was so fond of. And I’m sure he had one of those 1920’s gangster guns handy at all times. Aim for the head, Old Sport!

I give The Great Gatsby 5 out of 5 brains.

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